My Thoughts: Advice, Opinions, and A-holes

Advice and opinions are too common. Somewhere I read “opinions are like assholes, everyone has one,” and the more I think of it, this comment and its variations are true. So many people out there have their own opinion. People on the Internet, in your local or national newspaper, the cashier at your local store, nagging members of your family, and other places which just do not make sense. So many opinions and not a rats ass to give.

My question is with the big time opinionated people who have their own columns online or in the newspaper. So many exist like “Dear Abby.” Why do people write to them strangers? Do you normally get advice from strangers worth your time?

I was cruising through my Twitter feed today and came across this from NPR:

“I’m bored with my husband. Should I have an affair?” Send your Qs about #love.

The question on love, “I’m bored with my husband,” seems to me too personal to ask online. The person is not asking me, so it is not of any concern for me. I will have to think about that question.

I have a great concern for people who ask advice from strangers online or through the mail or in some other distance way.  I have concern especially if it is about sensitive or personal topics like love and relationships. Yes, these strangers often have some college degree which makes them “qualified,” but to give good advice, do you not need a better understanding of the individual and their situation? It can be nice to get an objective opinion from someone who has experienced it or in one way or another is an “expert” in a topic. Even an expert has some biases depending on their personal life, and we as humans are just not as objective as we may think (www.psychologytoday.com).

With so many strangers giving advice, do we need them all? Are there that many people with opinions good enough to be published? I suppose there must be many people with issues and concerns that one or two people in the world could not give them the time they need. Whether their advice is good enough to give and then publish, I do not care to track or check in on. These people, for all I know, make take this advice and have it ruin their lives. After all, these are strangers giving strangers advice. A stranger ruins my day in traffic all the time, why not ruin my life in  other ways?

I do not like to give advice. I also do not like to take it, but sometimes I regretfully ask for it or give it. Why? I do not know. I ask for trouble. Advice and opinions can be good or bad, but if you ask a stranger you may be asking for trouble because they may not really care at all.

To answer the question from the person “bored” with their “husband,” do not cheat. That is my answer after some careful thought. As a failure in love and relationships not trained in advice, I give this answer even though I should not being giving advice; however, I consider myself to be knowledgeable and experienced with being in the husband’s shoes. An affair or even thinking of it is cheating, and being cheated on is a feeling of abandonment and broken trust. It makes no senses. Get counseling as a couple or leave your husband. Even worse, writing to someone for advice to be published publicly makes you look bad and an embarrassment for all parties. If you continue on this path you will certainly be an asshole, and just like opinions, we do not need anymore. Just my thought on it (Do not take my advice, I am not an expert).

I hate giving advice. I know the question was not directed at me, but if you put it out on the internet then you are asking for an opinion from a stranger. Well, I am a stranger, and that is my opinion. Just my two cents. Just my thoughts.

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